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Choose your funny SMS message from our list below: Select The Funny Text Message You Wish To Send From This List I wanted 2 send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me 2 get out of the mailbox! Do you want to see something swell? A husband was asked: do u talk to your wife after sex? his answer: depends if i can find a phone... Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW! What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool... What do u call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan-On-Juan Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, Do you know how to drive this thing?" Behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man, but behind every SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man... Why did God create Whiskey? To keep the Irish from ruling the world!! Do you have a Bandaid? Cuz I just scraped my knee falling for you. What are 3 words you never wanna hear while making love? Honey, I'm home! What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, you've told her twice already! Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh! What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds!! Do you want to have children? No?? Okay, then can we just practice? Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE… Bad sex is better then a good day in school. When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute. When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower! We will now upgrade your brain...Please wait...Searching...Still searching....Sorry, no brain found!! This sms can only be read by someone SEXY...try again...again...and again.... What's charming, incredibly handsome, extremely well shaped, horny, an animal in bed and it knows one French word?... MOI!! I'm not your type ... I'm not inflatable 20% of the population is drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one flute is holding his phone in his hand. U are a...B.I.T.C.H....Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Cute & Honest. R u smiling now? Roses are red, violets are blue, someone like you belongs in the zoo! Tonight there will be an ice cream party. All ladies giving milk please come early. Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!! I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in the US, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?

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